I Said “No” To Babysitting Once For A Doctor’s Appointment. My Son’s Response: “The Locks Have Been Updated. Please Don’t Come By Right Now.” So I Came Back A Week Later… With A Realtor To Sell The Very House I BOUGHT FOR THEM.

But no one turned to ask,

“Mom, are you okay?”

Tonight. I opened my notebook from 2021. On the first page, it said,

Send another $200 to fix the gas stove at Edward’s house.

I had noted every expense in detail. The roof after the hurricane. Isabella’s preschool.

Nick’s vaccinations. Each note with its receipt neatly taped in. Not to claim anything.

Just out of habit for someone who has lived her whole life counting every dollar. I reached the last page and read the last line. Birthday gift for Isabella, $100.

I stopped thinking. When was the last time they asked me,

“Mom, do you need anything?”

I can’t remember. I closed the notebook and left it on the table.

The room was silent. Only the ticking of the clock. I looked out the window where the dim light from the street lamp barely shone.

My years of sacrifice. So many days breaking my back. Every hard-earned dollar.

All of it was now just lines in an old notebook. Edward and Laura don’t remember. They only remember the day I said no.

I clutched the notebook in my hands as if I wanted to hold on to some part of the years that are gone. But deep down, I know that everything I gave, no one kept. The next morning, after leaving the envelope at the door of Edward’s house, I woke up early.

Not because I had anything to do. This little house where I live now is so quiet. Only the wall clock marks the seconds.

I made myself a coffee. I sat at the kitchen table, stroking the notebook where I keep the accounts for Edward’s family. But today, I didn’t open it.

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