ADVERTISEMENT
“When I realized I wasn’t valued in the way I had assumed, I chose to invest that money in my own joy rather than in subsidizing people who didn’t want me present at their celebration.”
“That’s incredibly selfish,” he said. The accusation I had anticipated finally surfacing. “After everything I’ve done for you.”
“Yes.”
“Staying close to home for college so you wouldn’t be alone after Dad died.”
“Taking that first job at Mitchell and Burke when I had better offers in Chicago because you were still struggling with the business.”
“Visiting every Sunday for dinner even when I had other plans.”
“I’ve organized my entire adult life around making sure you were okay.”
“And the one time I asked you to take a step back and let Vanessa’s family handle something their way, you have a complete meltdown.”
The alternate reality he described—one where he had been the supportive figure and I the dependent—was so at odds with my experience that for a moment I couldn’t respond. Then clarity washed over me. Cold.
Bracing. This was genuinely how he saw our relationship. Somehow my constant accommodation, financial support, and emotional care had been reframed in his mind as dependency.
“You chose State University because they offered you a full scholarship, which I had worked three jobs to help you qualify for.”
“You took the job at Mitchell and Burke because they offered the highest starting salary and best advancement track, which we discussed extensively.”
Continue reading…
ADVERTISEMENT