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I learned to nod and change the subject. I learned to smile like the question didn’t sting. I learned to swallow the little flare of shame that didn’t belong to me but somehow always ended up sitting in my chest.
I used to think if I worked hard enough, maybe they’d finally see me the way they saw Rachel. If I got promoted enough times. If I bought a nicer car. If I hosted the right kind of dinner party. If I became the kind of woman they could brag about without adding a joke at the end.
That assumption sounds flattering until you live inside it. “You’ll be fine” is just another way of saying, “You don’t need anything,” which becomes permission for people to take and take and call it normal.
Still, I never complained. I visited on holidays. I fixed the Wi‑Fi. I brought wine when they forgot birthdays—mine included—and pretended it didn’t matter. I kept my distance too, not out of anger at first, but out of self‑preservation.
Distance felt safer than hope. Because hope, in my family, had a habit of turning into disappointment.
I didn’t know back then that distance wouldn’t be enough. That one day they’d try to pull me in so tightly I’d barely recognize myself.
Rachel’s picture‑perfect life began to come apart the way fine china does—quietly at first, then all at once.
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