MY DAUGHTER AND I HAVE A “CODE WORD” — WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY IS WHY YOU SHOULD HAVE ONE WITH YOUR LOVED ONES TOO.
“Hi, sweetie,” I said gently. “We need to go prepare for the doctor tomorrow, remember?”
Once we were in the car and driving away, I glanced at Amy. “You okay, baby?” I asked softly.
She nodded—then the moment the tension eased, she burst into tears.
Between sobs, she said, “Mom, Lisa… Lisa is mean to me when Dad isn’t around.”
My heart dropped. “What do you mean, sweetie?”
“She says things,” Amy cried. “She says I’m annoying and that I shouldn’t be there. She told me that if I told Dad, he wouldn’t believe me because I’m just a kid. She said I should stay in my room and not bother them.”
Fury surged through me—blinding, instant, protective. How dare a woman who barely knew my child treat her that way?
“Okay, Mom,” she whispered, wiping her cheeks.
At home, I hugged her tight and reassured her before letting her settle in her room with her favorite stuffed animal. Then I grabbed my phone and called Dave.
He answered on the third ring. “Hey, Claire, did something happen? I just got home, and Lisa said you came by and took Amy?”
“Yes, something happened,” I said, unable to hide the anger in my voice. “Amy used our code word today, Dave. She wanted to leave because Lisa has been saying awful things to her when you’re not around.”
There was a long silence. Then he said, “What? That can’t be right… Lisa wouldn’t—”
“She did, Dave,” I said firmly. “Amy was in tears the moment we got in the car. She’s scared of your girlfriend, and she told me the only way she could.”
“Claire, I’m sorry. I had no idea. I’ll talk to Lisa. This isn’t okay.”
“You’re right,” he said quietly. “I’ll handle it. I promise.”
After I hung up, exhaustion washed over me. This was not how I pictured the weekend, but I was grateful Amy trusted me enough to use the code word. That tiny plan ended up making all the difference.
Right then, I decided she needed her own phone. I knew technology had its downsides, but having a way to reach me quickly could be crucial.
As I sat on the couch replaying the day, I realized just how vital it is for parents to have a similar system. That little word gave Amy a way to signal distress without exposing herself, and it allowed me to intervene before anything got worse.
But choosing a code word isn’t as simple as picking any random word. There are important guidelines to ensure it actually works.
First, avoid common words—anything that might come up naturally in everyday conversation. You don’t want false alarms triggered by phrases like “school,” “birthday,” or simple colors.
Second, if your child is old enough, consider using a phrase instead of a single word. A unique phrase like “sunshine forest,” “dancing penguin,” or “blue apple” is easier to remember yet harder for others to guess. It should be simple enough for your child to recall under stress.
Third, practice using it. Role-play scenarios so your child understands when and how to use the word. This builds confidence and ensures they won’t hesitate if they ever truly need it.
What happened with Amy was a powerful reminder of how much impact a simple plan can have. By sharing what we went through, I hope more parents consider creating a code word with their children. It might be the tool that makes all the difference in a critical moment.
Source: amomama.com
Note: This story is a work of fiction inspired by real events. Names, characters, and details have been altered. Any resemblance is coincidental. The author and publisher disclaim accuracy, liability, and responsibility for interpretations or reliance. All images are for illustration purposes only.
